Out of it

It's round 3 and I'm down for the count.  Too beaten and bruised to care as the hand slaps the floor.  I gave it a good run, but I've lost.  And no one ever writes about those who tried and failed.  It is the winner who tells the tale.  

Then out of nowhere a hand reaches down to pull me to my feet.  

"It is time for you to move on to a different ring," a voice whispers.  

I just nod.  I saw this coming all along.

I don't know how to get there, but I know where I'm going, so I take a deep breath and take a shaky step in that direction.

Wasn't it Eleanor Roosevelt that said, "Do at least one thing that scares you every day?"  

Good advice. 

God has a funny sense of humor....

When I grow up I want to be a ballerina...

Today, that age old question came up yet again:  What do you want to be when you grow up?

When I was little,  I wanted to be one of several things and figured that I could just pick one when I was a little older.  I wanted to be a doctor, a teacher, a ballerina, an adventurer...

As I got older, things changed though.  I came to realize that while I can look at and talk about guts all day, 5 min into hearing someone else talk about the circulatory system I start to feel faint, so no doctoring for me.  I realized that while I like to help people learn things, I despise teaching structures, so no teaching for me.  I realized that while I love to dance, I have a very un-ballerina like butt and no sense of balance (as evidenced by my high school stage time), so ballet doesn't seem like much of an option.  And what does an adventurer do exactly?  Besides get shot at, captured, read maps is dead languages and find awesome stuff against all odds.  Apparently the adventurer hiring agency only places cute guys with at least two degrees in history, or something related to archeology, or a hot girl who was a princess/queen in a former life.  It would appear that I was a Romantic Poet (according to facebook), so no luck for me.

Oh well.

Now, I'm in school learning how to write about what is going on in the world because I don't know what else to do.  I like to write and I like to go out into the world and talk to people and do things, so this is what fits.  

I still don't know what I want to do when I grow up though.

Maybe I'll double check on that adventurer job... I dream about being shot at anyway....

Ash Wednesday

Today my boyfriend and I went to the Ash Wednesday service that was held on campus.  It was neat.  The service itself was very Catholic, which I enjoyed.  (Catholic services always seem to have that extra special pen ash around holidays.) The communion wine tasted like saki though... 

So, the big question is: What should I give up for lent?  A lot of people are giving up food or drinks, but the only things that I eat/drink routinely are chicken and coffee.  Chicken because it is the only meat that the school does a good job at cooking, and coffee because due to my body's chemistry caffeine tends to work as a relaxant on me and when I don't drink some when under stress, I need serious drugs (like Benedril) to deal with the withdrawal symptoms.

Back to giving up something though.  I really don't know what I can give... 

• I can give some more time for prayer, though I fear I'm too often distracted.
  
• I can make an effort to do a better job of attending church, though I know I'll miss the extra hour of sleep.
  
• I can actually finally get around to pulling some money to give to the church from my pay check's meager leftovers.
  
• I can try to read my Bible more.  It's pages were starting to get dusty.
  

That is all I know to offer.  I have little time during the day and am overly easily distracted at night, so I will try this little though it is.  It's not giving up chocolate, but it is my own small attempt.  Hopefully I will pull through and do all of these.  If not, then I can only hope that God will understand.

Dear Professor,

I don't get class, and it isn't the subject matter either.  The subjects are simplistic.  You repeat yourself... a lot.  You give me death glares if I walk into your 9 o'clock one minute late, but then you are 10 minutes late to your own 1 o'clock class.

You don't remember where you stopped at in your notes during your last lecture, but find it unthinkable that I forgot this ultra important busy-work assignment that you handed out along with three other similar assignments earlier in the week.  You expect me to sit in rapt attention, yet you babble on in circles, constantly returning to some technical mumbo-jumbo.  You say that I should try to learn in your class, yet you review so much that I couldn't even say what the "new material" was in the last class.

You speak in abstracts, then say I don't explain enough in my papers.  You claim yourself as a revealer of higher education, yet you test me over the same things that I learned in 10th grade.

Where is the challenge?!?!?  Why am I here?!?!?!  Quit lecturing me on respect and accountability because until you learn to respect my intelligence, I don't think I will be able to fully respect you.  If you respect me, I will respect you; if you treat me like an uneducated fool, then I will play the part in your presence.  That isn't a threat; that is a fact.

Sincerely,

   Some kid from class

Screenplay Feature

I got published this week. :)

Read what I wrote here.